ShesAHomewrecker.com can cause 'long-lasting' damage to accused mistresses but not cheating husbands
Linsey Davis, Chris James and Jackie Jesko, ABC News
10:51 AM, Nov 8, 2013
ShesAHomewrecker.com is a website that's gaining lots of attention because it gives women the opportunity to anonymously post a picture of their husband's or boyfriend's alleged mistresses.
Without revealing their own identities, scorned wives and girlfriends can post rants as well as photos, to publicly shame "the other woman" for sneaking around with their significant others.
Although the grievances are only alleged, many of the women who are humiliated say the damage can be long-lasting.
Dana Scott, 29, said she found her name and location plastered on ShesAHomewrecker.com after she had ended an affair with a married man three years ago. Since the post about the affair appeared on the site a few months ago, Scott said she has been bombarded with insulting comments, derogatory names, even death wishes, online.
"I looked at it last night for the first time in months and started bawling my eyes out," Scott said.
Ariella Alexander -- that's her online alias -- is the woman who started ShesAHomewrecker.com and said she created it as a way to teach adulteresses a lesson.
"I hate to say it, but it's going to -- it can follow you for the rest of your life," she said. "You appear on Google, I mean, everyone now knows what you've done."
The website, which has more than 250,000 likes on Facebook, claims to expose the names, pictures and often torrid details about accused homewreckers and their adulterous ways. ShesAHomewrecker.com is a new twist on the booming trend of "revenge" websites, which allow jilted lovers or angry exes to humiliate their former flings.
Noemi Sanchez, 29, said she found solace in posted on ShesAHomewrecker.com after she said she discovered her husband of nearly eight years was cheating, while she was seven months pregnant with their third child.
"It was really just a way for me to vent," Sanchez said.
She said she discovered his cheating when she noticed pages upon pages of the couple's cell phone bill contained the same number.
"I called it and that's when she answered," Sanchez said.
While still pregnant, Sanchez said her husband asked her for a divorce. She was so upset that she decided to take revenge and posted personal details on ShesAHomewrecker.com, with photos, of the woman she said stole her husband.
When asked if she was worried the other woman might sue her for slander, Sanchez said, "No, because I have proof of it all. I kept everything and I have everything."
The alleged homewrecker is now married to Sanchez's ex-husband and has a 3-month-old baby with him -- a child that is one year younger than Sanchez's youngest son, the one she was pregnant with when she said she discovered their cheating.
Sanchez said she would be willing to forgive her cheating husband, but not the other woman.
"I just feel like she knew," she said. "I just feel that you shouldn't mess with a married man. ... Why would you do that? You are taking somebody's father away, somebody's husband, why would you do that?"
When contacted by ABC News, Sanchez's ex-husband and his now wife, the former mistress, said "the website is based off opinion." They also claim Sanchez and her husband were separated at the time they got together and they are "tired of the harassment."
ShesAHomewrecker.com has gotten a flurry of media attention over the past couple of weeks, with some calling it "slut shaming," pitting women against women, but Alexander sees it differently.
"If women love women so much, women wouldn't be sleeping with other women's husbands," she said.
"I didn't start this. I created a platform. I'm not begging people to expose their homewreckers. They choose to use it."
"At the end of the day, it's about respect," Alexander continued. "As a woman, I am not going to sleep with somebody else's husband. I am not going to flirt with somebody else's husband. I am not going to involve myself in somebody else's marriage."
But Dana Scott, who is just one of hundreds of women bashed on the site, believes the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Scott got pregnant during her affair, but by the time she was four months along, she said she realized the man was never going to leave his wife and she ended their relationship. She said she even called his wife to say she's sorry.
"I told her everything and I apologized," Scott said. "She was very, very calm. I was very hysterical because I felt so guilty. ... I'm very sorry, I've told her so many times. I've written her many emails apologizing, from the depths of my soul, I'm sorry, and I don't know what I can do."
Scott had her baby, while her former lover and his wife moved several states away. Then, three months ago, she said she found her name and picture on ShesAHomewrecker.com. Scott said she has received vicious messages from strangers online, bullying her and her infant son.
"I don't get why I'm getting all of the brunt of this when he was the one married, when he said he would honor [his wife], but I'm the bad guy and I'm getting blasted on the Internet," she said. "He is a homewrecker. The home was already wrecked by the time I came into the picture. If you truly love someone else they are not going to stray. I feel that I'm not the one who wrecked the home."
Scott is about to finish nursing school and fears the post about her on the website will hurt her chances of finding a job.
"To the future employer Googling me, and reading all of those comments on the website, seeing all those things, who would want to hire me?" she said. "It wouldn't matter how good of a nurse I was. That would go out the window and they would be like 'We don't want this woman to work here. We don't want the bad publicity.' It's not fair."
When reached by ABC News , Scott's former lover and his wife, who posted the rant on the website, had no comment.
When ABC News contacted some of the alleged homewreckers, all said they were innocent victims. One of the women, Brittany from North Carolina, was viciously slammed on the site but said the post describing her alleged indiscretions is completely false -- another example of many of how these revenge websites can destroy someone's life.
These kinds of revenge websites, including ShesAHomewrecker.com, say they are not breaking any laws because they don't create the content, the posters do, but that hasn't stopped some people from taking legal action.
"I get threats of lawsuits every single day," Alexander said. "I have people threatening to sue me, people threatening to put me in jail. They're sending the police to my house. I do have a lot of threats. ... We take them as we get them, one at a time."
Despite using what many see as a form of cyber bullying, some of the scorned women feel vindicated. Noemi Sanchez said she doesn't plan on taking down her Homewrecker post.
"I would like for her to say, 'Look, I came between you guys, I'm sorry, it happened.' You know, that's all I want is an apology because she knows what she did," she said.