Renowned adult thespian who shared boudoir with commander-in-chief to shimmy locally

Fans of tasteful culture rejoice! A storm is coming to Cleveland. But not a storm of the winter variety. This summer storm is of the Daniels variety, and with it comes thunderclaps that will echo from the banks of the Cuyahoga all the way to The Man in the White House.
 
Heavens be praised.
 
Many a fine actor graces our fair burg wishing for nothing but an enthusiastic audience grasping crumpled banknotes, but not all are whispered to have walked through the garden of carnal delights with the princeps of the free world. What a gay endeavor it shall be when our humble village revels in the very shimmies once exclusively reserved for His Excellency.
 
Their celebrated friendship is said to have commenced forthright following our magnificent First Lady’s birth of a masculine child in the Year of Our Lord 2006. For the adult thespian’s discretion, scurrilous wags report that she was gifted with $130,000.
 
Ah, but that was then.
 
What about … the venue?
 
The venue for what promises to be the performance of a nighttime is located upon the newly respectable banks of the Flats, in a glamorous theatre known for its extremely convivial staff, appreciation for the cantations of Yo Gotti and $5 burger night on Mondays.
 
Departing from Cleveland in the month of June? Fear not. This storm tracks its way to Dayton in August, a short carriage ride for anyone whose monocle longs to gaze proudly upon the blossoms of our national culture.
 
We truly live in grand times.