The perks of being a drug trafficker, according to the Alliance Police Department

ALLIANCE, Ohio - Police in Alliance took it upon themselves to make a funny Facebook post following a drug trafficking conviction to deter anyone in the area from choosing a drug trafficking career.

According to police, Jerome "Joe" Wyckoff was convicted on Monday for trafficking cocaine, methamphetamine, and heroin. As a result, Wyckoff will spend the next seven years in prison.

According to the department's Facebook post, the benefits of drug trafficking include: 

  • No vacation days
  • No 401K
  • Work from home
  • Free home security provided by 24-hour police surveillance of your drug house
  • Maximum three-month tenure followed by free, state-provided housing and state meals
  • Free permanent safekeeping of your money, guns, and vehicles
  • Free inmate clothing for the length of your sentence
  • Souvenir inmate identification card when you finally get released

"When we search your home for drugs 'extremely' thoroughly and go through all your personal belongings, we will probably find that lost TV remote control you've been looking everywhere for," the post concludes. "Of course, we are taking the TV with us, but you will have that peace of mind."

Good one, guys. Don't think we want to take up drug trafficking anytime soon.

To view the full post, visit the City of Alliance Police Department's Facebook page.

Print this article Back to Top