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Queen of Hearts: It's a great day to be Gary from Cleveland

Posted at 12:56 PM, Mar 15, 2018
and last updated 2018-03-15 13:09:25-04

Congratulations, Gary.

Gary who?

We have no idea.

All we know right now about the winner of last night’s $5.5 million Queen of Hearts drawing at Grayton Road Tavern is that he’s named Gary. 

That makes every Gary in the metro area a possible secret millionaire.

So if there’s a Gary in your life, consider being extra nice to him today. Hold the door. Buy him coffee. Compliment his sweater-vest. (Most guys named Gary wear sweater-vests.) Take the wonderful idea of a Random Act of Kindness, and make it a Random Act of Kindness for Gary. 

Why? Because if the Queen of Hearts Gary is like most guys named Gary, he’s going to want to spend some of that cheese on his friends. Oh, sure. First he’s going to pay off his Jetta (Fact: Most guys named Gary drive Jettas). Then he is going to look around and want to do some good and spend money on his friends. 

Classic Gary, right?

Play it smart. If you owe a Gary money, let it go. Did you and Gary have a falling out over a mutual love interest? Let. It. Go. If there’s a Gary in your life, and something came between you, mend that fence immediately. You do not want to be on the outside looking in on this one. Gary The CYO Basketball Ref could also be Five Million Dollar Gary. Maybe your kid did travel.

Be pro-active. Get out there. Hug a Gary. Help a Gary move. Take a Gary to the airport. If you don’t know a Gary, befriend one immediately. You can generally find one or more of them buying home office supplies at Staples. (Fun fact: More than one Gary is technically called a Garix.) 

Worried that you and Gary have nothing in common? Don’t be. If you have strong opinions about who should start at the back end of the Indians’ rotation this year, then you and any Gary in Cleveland will have something to talk about. Gary--huge Tribe guy. Cried in '97, just like the rest of us, and money won't change him.

Good luck, and Godspeed, to any and all of you with a Gary in your life.