Bound together by their stories of escaping poisonous, emotionally and physically abusive relationships, two domestic violence survivors hope to help current victims through support, fellowship and music.
Domestic violence is like a contagion that, at times, can seem inescapable. The constant fear and anxiety can be consuming. A victim staying in such a relationship can be risking their life.
So can leaving one.
Women like Laura Cowan and Althea Cavor know the perils all too well.
“One time, [my ex-husband] slept with a gun underneath the bed,” Cavor said. “Nobody should have to live like that.”
Two decades ago, Cavor managed to escape her ex-husband’s mental and physical control. Under the cloak of darkness, she escaped the situation she could only describe as hell. Not only did her ex-husband physically, emotionally and mentally abuse her, Cavor's ex-husband’s actions also had a profound impact on her children, she said.
“My oldest daughter is 30. She shared something with me. She said, ‘I was in kindergarten and I would go to school worried about you every day that when I would come home to you being dead,” Cavor said. “It’s a bad feeling living in fear.”
Cavor still gets emotional talking about her past. Her past, however, is never far behind.
“People don’t understand you find a way to live through it every single day,” Cavor said.
Faith, family and Cowan’s companionship has helped Cavor get through the deepest, darkest moments. Cowan’s survived the tortuous reign of a man who is now serving seven life sentences. She has turned her story into a testimonial for others through her work at the Domestic Violence and Child Advocacy Center.
The two women, bound together by the indescribable feelings only domestic violence survivors know, have made it their mission to help steer domestic violence victims out of abusive relationships.
“A lot of events are always in October. October is domestic violence awareness month,” Cowan said. “After October no one talks about anything. Althea says, ‘we need to do something before that because women are losing their lives every single day.”
Cavour’s purpose was born. Her brainchild, the “Fear and Pain Behind Domestic Violence Awareness Concert’ will be held on July 8th at the Bertram in Aurora. National recording artist, saxophonist Andre Cavor and The Cavor Project Band, will open the concert for Grammy-nominated artist Bishop Marvin Sapp.
Having Sapp headline the show is extra special for Cavor. His music helped her through the most difficult moments in her journey out of domestic violence. She believes in music’s ability to help people so much she was willing to pay a majority of the expenses to put on the show with no guarantee that sponsors would come onboard.
“It is a dream come true and I thank God that I am able to do something that I dreamed about doing,” Cavor said. “I’m not depending on sponsors or vendors. I’m depending on me and my husband’s finances.”
Even if the event helps one domestic violence victim, Cavor and Cowan said it will be worth it. Wishing there were such an event when she was in the midst of her struggles to escape, Cavor said July’s concert will be a healing experience for her too. It’s enough to inspire Cowan.
“Everybody has a story,” Cowan said. “What you do with that story, that’s your glory.”
An average of twenty people are abused by an intimate partner every single minute, according to the non-profit National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Tickets to the event are $50 but victims of domestic violence get in free. There will also be other support services and vendors at the event. Tickets are available on Eventbrite.com
