AVON LAKE, Ohio — An Avon Lake mother has turned her journey raising a child with severe autism into advocacy in the form of a children's book.
Deanna Szente is a mother of three in Avon Lake: Romeo, Ravyn and Ryin, each with their own personality.
"Romeo is very into school. Romeo loves learning. He loves reading. He loves math. He is our soccer player," Szente said. "Ravyn is very much our sweet and sassy diva of the family. She is our gymnastic star. She is very outgoing."
And last but not least, Ryin.
"Ryin, who is three, and he is just our adventurous, on-the-go, on-the-move little guy," Szente said.
But Ryin's journey has required a little extra attention.
"Ryin was diagnosed with severe autism right before he turned one and a half," Szente said.
Szente said she first began noticing signs around 11 months.
"The words that were there were no longer there. He was starting to become a little OCD with certain rituals, like walking past certain things and walking over certain bumps, and that's when we decided to bring it to the pediatrician," Szente said.
After the diagnosis, the family's schedule quickly filled with appointments. Ryin needed a DOC band, physical therapy and surgery. With each of her three kids just a year and a half apart in age, the demands on Szente's time were felt by everyone, especially Ravyn.
"While the ages are different, a lot of the needs are still the same. They still need mom for a lot, and it was hard for her having to share me, because not only am I leaving the house to go to these appointments, now people are coming into the house in her safe place with these appointments," Szente said.
The inequities were also hard for Ravyn to process. Ryin uses an AAC device, which looks like an iPad, to communicate, while Ravyn's and Romeo's screen time was limited. Ryin is not expected to do chores like putting away laundry. Ravyn and Romeo are.
"She loves her brother, but there were just times where she wanted mom too," Szente said.
Szente turned to children's books for help, but came up short.
"I'm a big person on books, and you know, the first day of school, potty training, like there's books for all of it. This one, there wasn't a book for," Szente said.
So she wrote one herself, starting it as something just for Ravyn.
"As I was doing it, I was like, I bet there's so many other parents out here who feel the same way that you just don't even know where to start when you're talking with your child who's three, four years old about navigating these types of feelings," Szente said.
She called it "Feelings That Matter."
"[Ravyn] has a lot of big feelings as a little girl, and I wanted to know that her feelings matter too. She feels like it's all about Ryin a lot of the time, but it's also about you, baby. Like I love all three of my kids all the same, and your feelings are just as important as everybody else's," Szente said.
The book is based on her real family — all five of them.
At the end of the book, Szente included conversation starters for parents to use with their children, as well as a letter to caregivers.
For Szente, the book wasn't just about making Ravyn feel seen. She wanted to help other families, too, and ensure all kids know their feelings matter.
"It's hard for the kids; it's hard for us. We're all trying to navigate feelings and big emotions," Szente said.
And Szente isn't done writing. Romeo has already made his request known.
"Romeo would like a book about him," Szente said.
